Married Woman Says Her Husband’s “Work Wife” Isn’t Supporting His Career Goals

STAPLETON, ILL. — Local married woman Maxine Truax, 41, says that her husband’s “work wife” isn’t properly supporting his career goals. “I have nothing against Brenda, but why would Lamar ever want to leave the mail room if she’s bringing him a delicious lunch and giving him ‘desert’ in the broom closet at least twice a week?” Mrs. Truax said, watching a repeat of “The Shahs of Beverly Hills” at 2 in the afternoon. “She’s probably bonking him right now, doing all those nasty things he used to ask me for before I’d set him straight … and he should have to scrounge at the vending machine for lunch, like everyone else — the baby!” Mrs. Truax fixed a cushion that had become trapped in the cheeks of her butt as she lay prone, staring at the screen and polishing off a second box of Nutter Butters. “It’s in all of our best interests if Lamar uses his spare time to go online and finally finish his degree at University of Phoenix. Then he can move up to management instead of merely looking to get his human needs for food and sex satisfied. What a waste of a life.”